Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21
The powers that be are the truth is watching you in any respect hours and monitoring your each transfer, however solely as a result of they’re hoping you’ll slip on the ice and drop your groceries once more.
Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19
You’ll quickly have the chance to replicate on all of the essential moments of your youth when a bit of flying rebar erases all of your recollections after age 9.
Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18
You’ll obtain an odd e-mail from the Nigerian authorities describing, in painstaking element, the administration of its petroleum-distribution infrastructure.
Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20
After years of labor, you may be requested to submit your paper, “There Is Nothing Like A Good Plate Of Bacon And Eggs,” to the philosophy division on the Sorbonne.
Aries | March 21 to April 19
Your plan to placed on a spectacular song-and-dance present to boost desperately wanted money will one way or the other fail to avoid wasting your foundering musical.
Taurus | April 20 to Could 20
You’ll understand too late that an absolute monarch remains to be in thrall to the wants of his topics when your hamsters begin dying of hunger.
Gemini | Could 21 to June 20
Though you’re feeling as if you’re on their own in a chilly, brutal, and uncaring world, there are the truth is 7 billion different folks there.
Most cancers | June 21 to July 22
Earth and Water magics are very robust in your signal this week, indicating that this can be a good time to do mud-related actions.
Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22
You’ve all the time believed that your soul is a lonely seeker of Reality, which doesn’t clarify why it’s often present in a crowded line ready for Cinnabon.
Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22
It’s truly not true that medical doctors would merely let you die with a view to harvest your organs. You’ll be lifeless, all proper.
Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22
Everybody will suppose you’re simply making a hilarious reference, undermining your efforts to warn everybody that the alien manifesto is, the truth is, truly a cookbook.
Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21
An angel will seem to you in glory and foretell that you just shall have happiness, peace, and the riches of the world, which might be higher if he didn’t preserve getting your identify fallacious.